


It's a Pact

by themadlurker



Series: camelot_fleet commentfics [5]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Break Up Talk, Comment Fic, Community: camelot_fleet, Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-31
Updated: 2009-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28128099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadlurker/pseuds/themadlurker
Summary: No matter how good the sex is, Nimueh has been adisasterfor their social life.
Relationships: Gwen/Nimueh/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: camelot_fleet commentfics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2060613





	It's a Pact

**Author's Note:**

> Orignally posted as commentfic [on this camelot_fleet thread](https://camelot-fleet.dreamwidth.org/5848.html?thread=256728#cmt256728), suggesting Gwen and Arthur, as the non-magical members of our quartet, could really use some additional protection. yue_ix was the one who suggested it be a sex pact...

"How dare you break up with me?" Nimueh cried. "And after I taught you two that position and everything!"

"I don't know what you expected me to do, Nim! You can't just go around turning my friends into trees—"

"He was hitting on me!" Nimueh protested. "A gentleman wouldn't have offered to show me his crystal balls out of the blue like that!"

"—or getting them involved with cults," added Gwen, who had never forgotten the sting of watching Morgana turn her back on them in favour of her 'new spiritual family'.

"I was merely aiding her in self-actualization!"

"Nevertheless," said Gwen. "We can't help but feel that you've been—"

She looked to Arthur for help.

"—a complete disaster for our social life," Arthur said bluntly. "No one talks to us anymore. Everyone's blaming Lancelot for that incident with the glamour and he's stopped speaking to us. Not that I can blame him—it was horrible, letting Merlin think Lance was cheating on him with me and Gwen. Well, mostly Gwen."

Nimueh crossed her arms.

"I don't have to listen to this. Besides, you know you enjoyed playing with that glamour as much as I did."

Arthur blushed faintly at that.

"I'm sorry, Nim," Gwen said, firmly, "but it just can't go on like this."

A look of pure rage crossed Nimueh's face.

"Very well then. Never forget that you brought this on yourselves."

She raised her arms and began incanting a very frightening-sounding curse.

"Excuse me," said Gwen.

Nimueh cried out the last syllables in a frenzied pitch.

Nothing happened. She tried again.

"Uh, excuse me?" said Gwen. "It's just—well, it's just that you've repeatedly—I mean, _we've_ repeatedly. That is, there's a politer way to put this, but I've forgotten..."

She trailed off, looking faintly embarrassed.

"You imbued us with the Essence. Of the Power of Nature."

Arthur had always had the sort of ridiculously noble bearing that allowed him to get away with saying things with capital letters without sounding foolish. It really wasn't fair that he could make a euphemism for bodily fluids sound so, well, _regal_.

The flush that was spreading down his neck did spoil the effect a bit, though.

"I think what Arthur is trying to say, Nim," Gwen elaborated, "is that our, uh, communion with you, has afforded us both access to certain Natural Magics—"

She felt very disappointed by those capital letters. They had fallen a bit flat. More like... miniscules in a larger font.

"—what Gwen is trying to say," said Arthur, guiding a speechless Nimueh, still vibrating with frustration and fury, towards the door, "is that over the course of our time together, the Forces of Nature, possibly inspired by Destiny, have seen fit to bestow upon me—"

"—and me—" Gwen interjected.

"—so much natural virility—"

"and... and muliebrity—"

"—that your powers are now useless against us," Arthur concluded.

They finally succeeded in closing the door on Nimueh.

"...Arthur?"

"Yes, Guinevere?"

"Hadn't we better take the back way out before she realizes that she was standing in a warded circle when she tried to curse us?"

There was a shriek of rage from outside.

"You know, Gwen..."

"Yes?"

"I've been thinking—Canada's very nice this time of year."


End file.
